The past few weeks, I have shared some of the events that have been going on with my family. Summer's seizure & migraine problems, The Hubbeast's panic attacks, etc... But, what I have not shared about is my own battle with depression & panic. For years I have battled depression and and agoraphobia and have been on medication for it. Up until the past few weeks, everything was OK ( except for having to MAKE myself leave my home). Then last Thursday, I had my first panic attack. Out of the blue, nothing seemed to set it off at the time. I started feeling like I couldn't get enough air, like I was running a marathon. I was getting light headed and getting these waves of heat over me. I was also experiencing severe stomach upset and couldn't get the words out that I wanted to say. I thought it was my heart condition (I have aortic regurgitation) and was trying to keep myself calm. Finally, after 45 minutes, I called the Hubbeast. He got home about 20 minutes later and took me to the closest urgent care.
At urgent care, I didn't want the Hubbeast in the room with me so, the nurses thought that he had something to do with what was going on. I tried to explain to them that he didn't even though I was having a hard time breathing. After a few minutes, things seemed to calm some. Then another of the waves hit me. The nurses were so sweet, talking to me so calmly. (they were both men & really cute to boot). They said that they had never seen someone having a panic attack so calmly before (I didn't feel calm). After a bit, I was OK and they sent me home.
Since then, I have felt the same thing several times a day. Not to the same degree as last Thursday but still there. Yesterday the doctor changed my meds to Paxil which is used for depression and panic disorder. I took my first pill this morning, so far so good.
The reason I have decided to share this with everyone is because I know that I am not the only one going through this. And, to give others that are dealing with depression, phobias, and panic attacks hope. Life throws some things at us that are beyond our control, even things physically. Something I have had to learn the past few weeks is that no one can be strong 100% of the time and you are not weak for asking for help.
Hugz to everyone!